Well, well, well.... so this blog is much like my journals...

I have this awful habit of starting to write in a journal, and then life bombards me, and I get totally sidetracked and distracted by all the crazy stuff that goes on on a daily basis... and suddenly, my journal is put aside and seemingly forgotten about. Note that I said seemingly... you see, I often think to myself oh, man... i should write this down... And, I even have gone so far as to put a note to myself in the task list on my cell phone, in an effort to remind myself that I have intentions of writing this amazing story of my adventures down either in my journal or here on my blog, and well....... you know... the cycle just continues, and nothing ever gets written. SIGH!!!

I even saw something on the Sistas board the other day asking me to update my blog... which made me smile, because that means that somebody somewhere actually READS this!!! And, they have checked it a number of times, and can tell that I haven't written a thing on here in many months! That means that they must care about my life, and that makes me smile. :)

So, an interesting side note... a few months ago, Aaron picked up a new microwave oven for our family... one of those REALLY NICE ones that goes above the stove. Life happened, and the microwave sat in the corner next to the deep freezer up until this past weekend. Aaron asked me what would make me happy for him to do this past weekend, and I perked right up and said, "INSTALL MY MICROWAVE!" ;) And, wouldn't ya know, he did just that! He & my dad got it all installed, only to find out that it didn't work... UGH! We got a SCREAMIN' deal on it at Home Depot, and now I guess we know why. Anyway, we called and had the warranty company come out and fix it... it now works. YAY! What I think I like most about this new microwave, aside of the fact that it isn't sitting on my countertop, is the fact that it beeps REALLY LOUDLY if you forget that you put something in it to heat up... That happened to me tonight... as I was sitting here writing... put my leftover red beans & rice in to heat them up for my "dinner" after such a crazy day.... and you guessed it! Completely FORGOT about it! I've got my ipod on, the littles are all asleep (Ben & Eli are at church ball games, some of them are at their other mom's house)... my dishes are DONE! My floor is SWEPT! Aaron is at an Elders Quorum presidency meeting... and my dad is snoring on the couch. LOL So, now I can eat. And, yup... forgot it was even there. But, thankfully, the microwave beeps loud enough (and keeps doing so every couple of minutes in case you missed it) that I totally heard it! YAY!

So, let me go back (just like in my journal but this is faster because I am typing, and as my friend Shaunna will attest, I type like the wind. ;)

AUGUST -- we moved back to our little house. 13 people, 1402 square feet. We had wanted to buy a new house, and keep renters in here, but no matter how we tried, we just couldn't find THE HOUSE and have the right amount of money at the same time. So, we decided to move back in here and save money (yeah, right), and build an addition. The economy tanked, and there went our dreams of adding on anytime soon. Tim turned 12 and was ordained to the Aaronic Priesthood at church. GO Tim! :)

SEPTEMBER -- Kept the kids in their same school, cuz we love the principal & teachers just that much! (Ok, and we really DON"T like the principal at their zoned school just that much, too. LOL) At any rate, we kept them where they had been, and school got off to a great start. Millie turned 3, Sara turned 1, Vivianne turned 7, and Aaron turned 36. One more turn down from the bank as far as funds for our addition. Ah well... maybe someday?

OCTOBER -- Fall arrived, along with some cooler weather. Kids pretty healthy... Ben is of course 4.0, Eli -- not so much. Hoping with all hope that Eli will figure out that we must DO work at school in order to get good grades. Continuing to downsize all the stuff we have, as we've downsized our house... got rid of lots of stuff -- thanks so much to Safe Nest for taking it off our hands! :) My birthday... 36 years... officially old! Got pregnant this month.... and discovered that I really AM allergic to lilies by using laundry soap with lily essence in it... broke out into hives from head to toe...of course, Aaron was away on a scout camping trip... ended up in the ER after Aaron came home...

NOVEMBER -- Was approached by a sweet friend at church who moves mobile homes... wanted to know if we were interested in adding on to our house. Um... yeah... but how? No worries! He had a single wide trailer that was a bit older, but in pretty good condition, and we could have it if we wanted it... Ummmm.... ok. Went and looked at it... decided to go for it! Cost... $0. That's right... he delivered it, and had it set by his crew, and charged us NOTHING. Went to Salt Lake for Thanksgiving for a Cheney Family reunion... much fun was had by all! We are so glad we got to go.... pregnancy going well... not sick much -- just when I would get too hot or too tired... Came home from Thanksgiving to a broken into house. STOLEN ITEMS: computer, flat screen tv/monitor, dvd player, Ben's basketball shoes, $5 in change, and 2 brand new pairs of Aaron's socks (they opened the package and just took 2 pairs... nice, huh?)... we knew who did it... the cops came, but basically did nothing.

DECEMBER -- the month flew by SO quickly! We got a giant dumpster for the debris from the addition... the missionaries came over and helped Aaron gut the addition (very much a diamond in the rough, btw, but LOTS of potential!)... they had SO much fun! Going in and out of our house through the laundry room, not my favorite, but I was happy to endure it. We had SNOW! REAL SNOW!!! Right before Christmas break... the kids got a snow day, but it ended up not being much fun. I had been feeling great, no problems... just going on about my business, and woke up Dec. 18th and had pink on my potty tissue. Decided that perhaps I'd done a little too much the day before, and should take it easy... Good thing the kids didn't have school. The boys went to Ian's house (my exhusband) for the day, so I could rest... came home from dropping them at the bus stop to meet him, and was bleeding some more. Aaron came home and our home teacher come over to give me a blessing. Shelley (the other mom) took the remaining kids (including our girls) to her house for the night. About 20 minutes after the blessings, I started to bleed really badly. Scared me pretty bad... really bad bleeding turned into massive hemmoraging, and Aaron took me to the hospital. We chose Summerlin because I had been there so many times, and they had my records. We drove past probably 3 other hospitals on our way, but I don't think our tires ever officially touched the ground. Just as we pulled into the ambulance bay, and the nurse came to help Aaron get me out of the truck, everything broke loose, and the I was in REAL trouble. Long story short (because I still haven't dealt with the gory details, and frankly they're awful and I don't feel like writing about them just now, and I'm sure you don't want to read them anyway), I lost the baby... and a whole BUNCH of blood. When I say a bunch... I really don't know just how much... but I can tell you that my blood pressure was something like 60/30, and I was clinging to life by a thread. I honestly felt that I was dying. The OB/GYN Dr. Dalley came in to see me, and the first thing she said was "you need blood... " and also a D & C. We signed all the consent forms, and I was taken to the OR. Aaron gave me a beautiful blessing just before they took me back, and I remember feeling an overwhelming feeling of love and peace, but was also very worried about the potential outcome. Thankfully, the D & C went well, and I was admitted for observation & transfusions. We started out with 2, but I was so so so weak, that the next day when she came to check on me, she immediately ordered 2 more transfusions. I couldn't even get up to the bathroom by myself, and at one point, just eating was more than I had strength to do. My dear friend Stephanie came to sit at the hospital with me the first day. She read scriptures to me, and we discussed many spiritual things. It was a day I will cherish for the rest of my life.

I spent 3 nights & 2 days in the hospital, and then came home to find that some dear soul had bought a Christmas tree and left on our doorstep while I was gone. Aaron's brother Darrell had taken Amelia & Sara to his house to play with his girls for the remainder of my hospital stay (Friday & Saturday). Vivianne spent time with my friend Stephanie and also my friend Marylin while I was in the hosptial. I am so thankful to these sweet friends & family who helped keep the children calm & comforted during my hospital stay. Thank you so much...

The following week, Aaron & I were both extended some pretty time-consuming callings at Church. Aaron was called to the Elders Quorum Presidency, and I was called to TWO big callings... 1) teaching Sunday School to the 14-15 yr olds, and 2) Enrichment Leader -- a calling that has, honestly, scared the begeebees out of me for many years. We figure the Lord wanted to make sure I didn't have time to get depressed about our loss... or something.

We are very thankful that Aaron found out that he had some vacation time at work that we didn't know about. He took off 12 days (including weekends) between Christmas & New Years, and I so loved having him home!!! It was such a blessing to have him here with us so much...

Also, our Christmas was simple and beautiful. We are very thankful to some very loving friends and ward family members who helped make it a very memorable holiday, especially in spite of the difficult time we had been experiencing. We didn't open presents until the evening, which was nice. We just took the day and tried to get the children to focus on the REAL reason we have Christmas, and what it truly means to us. We watched The Forgotten Carols, and that meant so much to me. We got a new Willow Tree figurine to help us remember that our sweet baby is in the arms of angels...

JANUARY -- Yes, these callings are VERY time consuming... Thankfully, the Sunday School position is a team teaching deal, so I only teach every other week, but I prepare every week just in case my partner can't make it. I spent many many hours putting together the first Enrichment meeting, which we held on the 21st. It was completely AWESOME! I asked my dear friend Kathleen Waite from my old ward to come and speak to us about our Divine Nature. We had the Young Women involved, and many of the sisters brought pictures and items from their Young Women's days growing up. It was SO great!!! Kathleen totally was inspired with the lesson she taught... the Spirit was so incredibly strong, and I was just in awe at how well the whole night came together. I now see how all the callings I have held up to this point have totally prepared me to be able to do this. I received many comments from sisters in the ward about the evening, and that just made my day! :) It truly was miraculous that a mom of 11 kids who just nearly lost her life a month prior could pull off something so amazing... but honestly it wasn't me. It was the Lord, and I thank Him for His tender mercies!

Oh, lest I forget... the day before the enrichment night spoken of above, our oldest son Eli broke his finger at school, playing catch with a football at lunch. Nice... His injury is called "Mallet finger"... the ball hit at just the right angle, at just the right force to snap his tendon, and break the first bone in his left hand middle finger. We ended up in the ER, and then in surgery with a wonderful hand surgeon... he got a cast, and as of yesterday, surpassed the hospital ER record for number of names & phone numbers of girls on a hand / wrist cast! LOL 26 names & numbers... gotta love it. We had a followup with Dr. Hijazi yesterday, and Eli's finger is looking pretty good. He has 2 pins sticking through the joint, and out the end of his finger... it looks pretty cool. I will have to see about getting the pictures up here so you guys can see it... it was gnarly to begin with, but is healing nicely. We go back in a couple of weeks, and then he will be referred out for physical therapy.

I got the hospital bill for my miscarriage last Thursday... $22,000. The OB's bill will be around $1000, the anesthesiologist will be about another $900, the lab, about $500... and I am sure that the bills will just keep pouring in. This all sent me reeling... but not as much as when I went to a followup appt with the OB, and having them tell me that my insurance says they won't pay. Just a little stress... They WILL pay... it's just going to be a fight. Something about that little "opposition in all things" thing... wishing it would pass me by on occasion... wouldn't that be nice?

Saturday night, Amelia came down with a fever again (she had just been sick about a month ago, right after my miscarriage). She has been spiking fevers up to 103 - 104 and beyond. That went through Monday, but finally no more fever... however, Sara is now also sick, and just really NOT feeling good. This morning, when I woke up, I heard Sara hacking and choking with the scary, and yet, very familiar cough of RSV. Dangit! So, we went to the doctor. After a whole lot of rigamaroll and runaround, both of the girls were finally seen. (More insurance problems... look for my upcoming blog entry about how awful our forced socialized medicine is going to be ... my kids have medicaid, and trust me, I don't care who tells you differently, it's no walk in the park to actually get the kids stuff covered!!!) Dr. was great, and when he heard the cough of both girls, he immediately said, "sounds like RSV.... " Yup. Nice. Flu swab & RSV Nasal wash done on Sara... Thankfully Amelia seems to be coming out of hers, and just has risidual cough. However, Sara... still VERY sick, and NOT doing well. Dr. says he will call me as soon as the results come back from the lab (should be tomorrow). In the meantime, it's breathing treatments every 4 hours, and some nasty tasting steroid (anti-inflammatory) liquid for both girls. Hopefully, Sara's insurance will get "fixed" so we can get her her own bottle of the medicine... in the meantime, we are just sharing. We also have both girls on healthy doses of Colloidal Silver ala Grandpa (my dad). The humidifier is going in their room, and they are propped up on pillows so they aren't lying flat.

We continue to work on the addition, and enjoy a visit with my dad & brother. Little by little, things are getting done. I have to tell you about our door... what a blessing! Originally, there was a bay window on the front, but we pulled that out, so we could have a front door actually be on the FRONT of our house... LOL Aaron went to Lowe's to find a door, and our funds are next to nothing for this project. But, we have figured that the Lord got us this addition (an extra almost 1,000 square feet!), so surely He will provide a way for it to be finished. So, anyway, he went to get a regular old 6 panel metal front door... $140 at Lowe's. He had the thought to check the clearance area, and lo and behold... a way cool door! It had been a custom order, but was returned, and they were selling it at a deep discount. Normal price, $778.14. Our price.. $10.99 That's right! ELEVEN DOLLARS! Aaron brought it home, and it's perfect! it's been such a testimony that Heavenly Father's hand really is visible in our lives... There are story after story after story like this... and it makes my friend Misty just shake her head. ;)

Let me go back a bit.. we took Josh to a new psychiatrist back in November. She is absolutely FABULOUS!!! We had a short interview with her med student assistant, and then she sat down with us, and basically told me everything about Josh that anyone ever wanted to know -- like she KNEW him! She'd never met him, but she totally pegged him!!! We totally love her, and have taken a few of the other children to her as well. His medications seem to working better than they ever have before, although we are still having issues with him doing his homework. We will just continue to tweak things here and there until we get it right. ALso, she had a brochure this last time we were there, for an after school program that would be TOTALLY Beneficial for Josh. She filled out the appropriate paperwork to get his Medicaid switched from HMO to full medicaid... so we are waiting on the decision from that. It may come down to us applying for Social Security disability for him, due to his severe mental health issues, in order for him to qualify for this program, but I am excited at the prospect of finding another place that can help us.

Tomorrow is Friday, and Fridays have become quite ominous around here with regards to Aaron's employment. The last several Fridays have been not so great... They took away his 401K contribution matching a few weeks back. Two weeks ago, they took away all paid time off -- no holidays, no sick days, no vacation days. If you don't work it, you don't get paid for it. Nice. There will likely be layoffs tomorrow, and hopefully, he won't be affected. Prayers on our behalf would be truly appreciated. We really hope that the economy will pick back up soon... we really need this job.

So, there you have it. my update. Probably alot more than I had originally planned on writing... but at least now it's somewhat caught up. Oh, we never did get our stuff back, that was stolen back in November... but the detective did tell me that he would press charges against the young man. The young man admitted to it... I don't know where we go from here. Guess I should call & follow up... I saw that young man tonight as I was dropping Eli off for his basketball game (don't worry -- he's just keeping score!)... made me sad all over again to have our trust broken like that. :(

Crying baby....... must jet. Breathing treatment time...

Forever Cheneys

For my cousin Vic...

I don't even know if you'll ever see this.......

but i have to tell you THANK YOU. I so wish I could come home and hug your neck and express my deep love and appreciation to you. Vic, you may not know it, and that's my fault for being so far away and so busy with my family, but you have made such a difference in my life. You, and Alisa and Victor and Bonnie, too. You're the only COUSIN in our family on either side who ever really showed that they cared about me. All those years, growing up, nobody else ever really even gave me the time of day. But, you spent time with me. You helped me when things were really tough at home. I always knew that your house was a safe place. Remember, I even came there a time or two on my own...

Since Dad called me last night to tell me what happened with you, I have been experiencing those "soap opera moments"... you know, the ones where on the soap operas and someone gets sick or dies, they go back and show all the highlights of that person's life and what they have meant to each person... memories. Well, that's what I've been experiencing the last 12 hours or so. It means so much to me to have some of those doors unlocked by the memories we share, Vic. I couldn't remember a lot of those things until now, but it seems like a movie that just replays in my mind. You were always SO sweet to me... and I don't think I have a single childhood memory that doesn't have you in it. Remember that tiny little black furry puppy that was at Grandma's house when I was........ maybe 4 years old? He was so teeny tiny, and I wanted to hold him... and you helped me. Thank you. I treasure that, and so many more memories of you. I remember when you had brought Adam to our house and I didn't know what to think of him... but you encouraged us to play outside, and I remember that we went and had a contest of who could find the most "locust" shells........ that was your idea. Do you know, that even today, I play that game with my kids? Yes, there are cicadas here in Las Vegas......... but we don't have any tree frogs that I've been able to find. Perhaps that's the lack of trees......... or maybe it's the lack of tropical atmosphere. ;)

Fishing. Detailing your and Dad's cars. Going to the grocery store with Mom and Alisa and you... Any time at Grandma's house. My how you loved her... and she loved YOU! And, how the both of you loved me. You know, Alisa was your perfect match. She still is. Thank you for always treating her and the children with love and kindess. And, for loving them unconditionally. I remember when you came to Denver to see us. I wasn't around much, considering that I had moved out, and things between me and my parents were terrible... but you made sure I knew you were in town, and that you wanted to see ME. I can't tell you how that made me feel. Then, the design jobs you helped me get... you'll never know how much that meant to me. My success was important to you, enough that you put yourself on the line to make it happen. Thank you thank you thank you!

I don't know how you're doing this morning. Dad said that the doctors had to revive you three times during your surgeries yesterday. The veil is very thin. I want so much to be able to do more for you, for Alisa, and for Victor and Bonnie. I wish I could come home. I can't. But, I hope that you know that I am there in my heart. Grandma "visited" me yesterday morning... I was getting something out of my jewelry box, and she entered my mind. I was thinking that it's been 8 years since I saw her on this Earth, and how I love her and miss her. I even spoke out loud to her, and thanked her for dropping by, and asked if she could put in a good word with the Guy Upstairs to help us get into this amazing house we are trying to buy. She's always made it a point to help me in situations like that... it's because of her that I have my girls. She told me she'd see to my getting a girl, personally... and she did. Did she ever??? 5 girls later.... wow! So, I asked for help with the house. I told her I loved her, and then rushed into my day. I got to the social security office, and while I was standing in line, I was sort of visited again. There was a little older woman in front of me. She had the same wavy black hair that Grandma had. She was about the same size, build. She wore a polyester dress that had little black clovers all over it -- something Grandma would've had in her closet. She even had the comfy shoes Grandma loved so much. As I stood behind her I remember thinking to myself... wow, she REALLY reminds me of Grandma. And then... the lady turned around, and I saw her face. She looked about as much like Grandma as she possibly could....... only she was Oriental. LOL That part made me smile..... nice, Grandma. I felt her near several more times throughout the day. We got a call that our financing had been approved by the lender, and I knew she had a hand in that. There are more hurdles to cross -- such as getting the offer accepted -- minor things, you know. LOL -- but knowing that her hand, and the hand of the Lord are in it...... I have faith. Grandma has surely given me that gift. She taught us faith and perseverance. She taught me about endurance. She taught me to truly love the Lord. And, I want you to know, Vic. I do. I do love Him with all my heart. And, I pray (and know!) that He is taking care of you. And, that His will will be done. I am conflicted because I want so much for you to live, and to stay here with us, but then at the same time, I want you to go... Know Him as I know Him. Let Him take you in His arms, and Love you with His Perfect Love.

I know we haven't talked much about religion over the years, Vic. But, I do thank you so much for always loving me, and never turning your back on our family. When we joined the Church, you still loved us, even when a lot of members of our family really backed off and seemed to think we were weird. I never have borne my testimony to you, outright, before. But, I want you to know that I KNOW God lives. And, I know He loves you. He loves ALL of His children! And, he wants us to be happy.... part of that is that He wants us to be part of His Eternal Family. Do you know that your family can be FOREVER? It makes so much more sense, doesn't it? I'm sure that you're being taught this, and that maybe you've even seen Grandma and Vivian and Rhonda and Roger, among others. Listen to them. Give them my love...... and know that I promise to do more to make our family eternal.

The children are waking, and my crazy day begins... but it begins with a beautiful sunrise, and a prayer for you. I'll keep that prayer going continuously in my heart. I love you. And I thank you for everything...... I've placed your name on the prayer roll at the temple. God Bless You.

Your CUZZIN... ;)

Jeana

Blech....... This "Opposition in all things" thing stinks.........

So, how many times do you think you've had to sit down and write down the names, addresses and phone numbers of EVERY single doctor, therapist, etc. your child has ever seen? Filing for SSI for Josh, and this is a nightmare. They say they want AT LEAST the last 12 months...... but the more you give them, the better. SO, I've been wracking my brain for DAYS trying to come up with a somewhat comprehensive list. Oh goody.

In addition to this...... the psychologist who we ADORE, and have been taking a few of the kids to for the last few months, is suddenly NOT on our insurance, and until they can figure out this mess, and how to get him credentialed with them, we can't go see him......... of course, we find this out today while we are at his office, for TWO appointments. (Actually 3, b/c Josh was seeing the psychiatrist, and he's in the same office.) The psychologist has been doing testing on our 6 yr old daughter, who is apparently VERY bright, but also apparently about 2 years delayed. Sorry, I'm tired, can't remember what it's called. Anyway....... this explains a LOT. We are in the midst of getting her tested to find out what is going on with her, and this is NOT a good time to stop....... but, alas, I suppose we will be on PAUSE for a bit longer. What a nightmare. I was ready to burst into tears right there in the office, but I held it together until I got home. Thank goodness.

We survived Spring Break...... amazingly.

Eli got accepted to THREE magnet schools for High School next year...... and we have informed him that he must choose one that offers music. He is thrilled to find out that the one he REALLY wants offers an advanced band program. :) Also, they have early morning semimary (a church class) that starts at 6am at the high school... not sure yet how he's going to get there that early, but it will all work out.

Aaron has a second job interview in the morning at 6am with another company. We are hopeful that they will offer him the job, and that the money will really be better. Also, it would provide insurance for us, which would be super great, considering Aaron's blood pressure, and my longstanding neurological issues. Please pray that we get this........

Also, we are in the midst of trying to decide what to do about the future of our housing situation. We are currently renting a home, but it just isn't big enough. As you may know, the housing market is still in the downward turn, and we are hoping to pick something bigger up before it heads back in the upward direction. With the idea of the new job, we are taking this slow, but we do have a few great ideas brewing in our minds. We are just waiting for things to fall into place. Any further prayers in our behalf would definitely be appreciated.

Other things are happening....... but I am too tired to write them tonight. I'm going with Ben to a robotics competition tomorrow at UNLV. He is super-excited, and I am too..... mostly just to get to be with him, but having to go someplace OTHER than a doctor appointment is total BONUS! LOL

I need a vacation...........

Time eludes me...

I do not know where it goes! Of course, it doesn't help that the lawmakers decided to mess with Mother Nature some more, thus moving the time change I've been accustomed to since I was a child to different dates both in the fall AND the Spring! That is SO not fair.... It's been a week already, and still, I am not caught up.

It's been an interesting couple of weeks since I blogged last. We are continuing with Plan F(orward), and wow, have we been having a roller coaster ride! However, it seems that we on the right path, it's just a really HILLY one! Lots of ups and downs. My faith is definitely being tested, but I am holding steady, and just making sure that I remember the Answers I've received over the last few weeks, and testing every new thing that comes to my mind against those Answers. If there is no balance, then I let the idea go until I see it come into balance. This plan seems to be working, although, it is very frustrating to have to weed through everything like that. I am just really glad that I have those Answers to compare everything to... without them, I'd be surely Lost!

We have found an agency here in town that does EXACTLY what we need for Josh! I am SO excited!!! The director came out to our home yesterday to assess Joshua and our family situation. I was thrilled to hear that the therapist who recommended this program, who also works for them, has requested to keep our family. Sandra is just a doll, and she has Josh's number! LOL Nothing gets by her, and I love that! There will also be a basic skills worker who will come out to our home 2 or 3 times a week, who will work with Joshua on his basic life skills. He will get all the kids and parents together so we can work on issues, and also will take Josh out into the community to help him there. We were talking about the horse therapy, and Natasha (the director) was SO excited to hear about that, she said we should make sure we put that as part of Josh's treatment plan. They will also help us get an IEP together for Joshua, and should there be any issues at school, they will come in to the school for meetings, conferences, etc. This really feels SO right, and it allows us to keep Joshua in the chiropractic care (drjenkins.org) and the horse therapy, which I already mentioned. The only trick is keeping the insurance coverage where it needs to be, but Natasha said she would make the necessary calls tomorrow. So, please pray that we can do this, and that the medicaid people will see the good in this vs. the horrible idea of sending Josh 500 miles away to a place where he has no support system. So, again, Y'all PRAY!!!

The rest of the kids are doing good.... it's Spring Break! Yay us! LOL We'll be taking a day trip up to St. George one day this week, and the kids are all excited about that. Eli is mad because he wanted to work at the Rec Center over the break, but he didn't get his missing assignments completed, so that's a no-go for him. He is trying to earn his marbles back, so he can have some priveleges while he is home this week. I hope he can figure out how to keep them once he earns them back.

oh, Aaron got injured a week ago in a tragic flip of one of our go-karts. He shredded the skin of one of his knuckles, and jammed the other knuckle pretty hard. He only needed 3 stitches, and thankfully it is healing very well. He is going back to the doctor on Tuesday, and hopefully Dr. Frank will do something about Aaron's blood pressure. The ER folks were more concerned about Aaron's blood pressure the other night than they were about his hand. They gave him some bp meds in his IV, which helped, but it's back up now. We signed up for the discount program at Walgreen's, so hopefully that will help with the cost of medication.

The weather here in Vegas is funny. We have had rain in the valley today, and snow in the mountains. Just a few days ago it was 80 degrees........ funny. No wonder everyone is sick! And they say this isn't going to be the last cold snap we have...... Yay us!

Well, how about we try a NEW plan?

Since plans A-G have failed............ again, we go with plan F, which is Plan FORWARD.

So, Josh didn't tolerate the new meds very well, at all. In fact, he tolerated them so poorly that within just a few days (by Monday of the next week!) I was becoming very concerned about him. I brought my concerns to the attention of the doctor and staff, and they assured me that this was all "normal" (yeah, sure), and that they wanted to give him another week or so before doing anything. Besides, the residential treatment center they wanted to send him to could handle it.... and they were only a mere 500 miles away. Nice, huh? Well, we continued with much fasting and prayer, pleading for answers from Heaven. And, isn't it strange how those come about? The following week at treatment team, I again expressed my concerns about the combination of medications they had Joshua on, but they assured me that he was fine, and that they'd be ready to release him by the end of that week. It was "any day", they were going to get the go-ahead to send Josh to Reno. I had done my research, and honestly, Willow Springs doesn't seem like all that bad of a place. Better, by far, than the place he was in, it seems. But, still, I was very concerned about what to do with Joshua in the meantime.

Well, God answers our prayers in strange ways sometimes. His ways are not our ways. But, thankfully, I've been studying His ways for long enough that I can recognize His hand, even in spite of the strange circumstance surrounding things. After treatment team and family therapy that day, I left with the idea that I would request a med wash when we got to Reno. We'd be likely going there in just a few days, and I was getting my schedule cleared so that we could do that.

Fast forward to 3:30 pm that day. The nurse called to see if she could give Joshua some Tylenol, because he had a fever. Sure, go head, I said. Well, half an hour later, they called again, in a panic because now Josh's fever had jumped to 105.5 degrees, and they were letting me know that I needed to meet them at the ER so they could check Josh out. I went, we were there for several hours, they gave Josh some gatorade, said he looked fine, and sent us on our way.

The next day, same thing.... only this time, they waited til 10pm to call me, when his fever spiked again..... back to the ER, stayed there til 4am, and then came home, and was just so exhausted I could barely move. Got my kids to school, and vegged the rest of the day. Thursday they said he was okay, but then Friday morning, I got another call that I needed to come down right away, because now Josh had broken out into a horrible rash all over his body, and they didn't know what to do. So, I dropped everything, farmed out the little ones to my friend, and went down there. Yup, he was COVERED in this rash, his fever was back up, and he was NOT feeling good at ALL! The staff pediatrician came in, and she was perplexed.

Josh had thrown up several times in the last few days, and now with the rash, they were very concerned that he might give this illness to the other children in the unit. I asked OVER AND OVER AGAIN, "could this be a reaction to the medication?", knowing that one of the major side effects of the meds he was taking was rash and feeling of malaise, and vomitting. We were just going down the list. Oh, no, no, no... couldn't be that, they said. After all, we're professionals, and you're just a mom. What could you possibly know? We're sure it's a virus, they said, but we can't have him here, not knowing.... and our pediatrician doesn;'t really DO sick kids, so yeah... you gotta take him back to the ER.

Well, we contacted OUR pediatrician, through the nurses there at the facility, and he actually said to bring Josh in to his office, and he'd have a look. Somehow, they interpreted that to mean to take him to the ER. I dunno.... I just found this out a couple of days ago. But anyway, we took him there, poor kid was just shaking like a leaf (which is also a common side effect, whaddaya know?) he's covered all over with this rash, and everyone in the ER freaked out.

(Side note, they were plenty freaked out anyway, as they had a 15 year old kid who was brought in with a gunshot wound from a driveby shooting, and they ended up cracking his chest open, and still, could not save him. I so feel for his family, but I can tell you, they really DID try to save him. During all of this, they tried to throw me out of the ER, but I stood my Mommy ground, and told them that they would have to send us BOTH out -- me AND Josh -- because I was NOT going to leave him alone. They let us stay, but made us stay in our tiny little room.)

Several doctors came in and looked at Josh's rash, they quarantined us, and it was alot like the ET movie, where everyone had to dress up in these yellow suits with gloves and masks and goggles..... except for me, and I could come and go as i pleased, pretty much, as long as I promised to wash my hands. Yeah, thanks. I think they figured I had already been exposed or something. LOL The staff pediatrician at the ER couldn't come in the room to even look at him, because she was pregnant, and they thought MAYBE he had Fifth Disease (which is no big deal unless you are pregnant and get exposed), but they couldn't say for sure, because the test you do for that comes back in 7 - 10 days, maybe? Sometimes, longer. The staff at the psychiatric unit didn't want him back, because what if it WASN"T just Fifth Disease... oh wait... I have to tell you...... they went ON AND ON, about this being some form of Parvo virus, and they were sure he'd picked it up from a dog, and they just couldn't chance him infecting the general public with this very strange horrific disease,and on and on......

Well, they ended up admitting him, after many many hours.... the nurses on the peds unit were GREAT, but they were also totally freaked out with the parvo virus diagnosis, having never treated this TERRIBLE disease, and SO worried they would take the virus home and infect their puppies or something.... (Now, in case you don't know, Fifth Disease is caused by Human Parvo virus B19, but it is NOT the same virus that the dogs get, and again, unless you're pregnant, it's not a big deal. In fact, once the rash shows up, you're not likely contagious anymore anyway, so..... yeah.) They kept Josh for 6 days. That's right....... SIX days. I was there EVERY day, for at least a few hours, to check on him. He was fine, and his rash went away after a few days....... and the fever went away, too.

Now, during all of this, I just pretty much sat and watched God do His work. And, we continued to pray and fast and look for answers. As soon as Josh started his fevers, they stopped giving him the medications that I was worried about. They did give him another dose the day before he broke out into the rash. Coincidince? I don't know.... I know some people call it that. I don't.

The whole time Josh was in Summerlin Hospital, he didn't have anything other than Tylenol and Motrin. That was IT. Guess Josh got his med wash, and not only that, he got it under the supervision of medically trained personnel in the PICU unit (it was the only bed they had available!) And, in the midst of all of this, we also got an MRI of Josh's brain, and a visit with a pediatric neurologist.

During the time that Josh was in the hospital, I woke up one morning with an idea that I just could NOT let go of. It just sort of SLAMMED into my consciousness, and would not let up. The idea was... horse therapy! I contemplated the fact that we live in a small gated community, on a very small lot, and no room for a horse. But, that didn't stop me. I knew that the area we live in has a LOT of horses, and that SURELY there was a horse around us that was lonely, and needed some love. I determined that I would begin my search, even if it meant just driving around and knocking on doors, I was going to FIND a horse! Also, we had the idea of treating Josh with herbs, and giving his body a rest from all those chemicals in the medications they had been giving him. We knew we couldn't just NOT treat him, ya know? I had read in a book about parenting bipolar children which herbs had been found to be effective, and we decided it was worth giving it a try.

Well, I did find a horse! I didn't have to do any knocking... I just asked around. And, then at church last week, I made a public request for help. Immediately, a friend of mine told me that she had JUST the horse for Josh! She talked with the owner, and sure enough..... Daisy, an old appaloosa mare, will be our therapy horse! We will try to go and meet her today. (Last week was just too frazzled with all the appointments we had).

I ran all of this horse therapy ideas, and the idea of treating Josh with herbs past the pediatrician and Josh's therapist at the psych unit. Also, the school psychologist who has become my friend through all of this. They all agreed that it was worth a try. Much to the chagrin of the people at the psych unit (nurses), our pediatrician released Josh to me, and we have moved forward. We went to visit a master herbalist's staff, and they hooked us up with some herbs to get us started. The first week was different with Josh, as we saw him begin to cycle, but now it seems that he is evening out pretty good. He doesn't seem to mind taking the herbs, even though they taste strong, and he is seeing a difference in himself, too.

Aaron's brother turned us on to a homeopathic chiropractor, who we will be going to see today. Tomorrow, we will follow up with the neurologist, and then we will go from there.

Josh did VERY well at church yesterday, which is usually a really hard thing for Josh to handle. Three hours. But, he did really, really well! We were SO impressed!

Last weekend, we cleared out and painted the bedroom where Josh and two of his brothers sleep. It changed from a neon celery color to a nice spring waterfall blue. The change is amazing! Aaron built a triple decker bunkbed for them, and it is now in the room. It's awesome! I will have to post pictures soon. We now have the children arranged so that Josh essentially has his room to himself every other week, while Nate & Tim are with their mom. SO far, so good!

We will see how things go, and honestly, we are taking things one day at a time. We have received communication from the residential treatment center up in Reno, and that is still an option that we are keeping open. I am homeschooling Josh at the moment, and will likely enroll him in tbe K-12 charter homeschool for next fall. The school district will pay for the curriculum, and there will be a qualified teacher who will check in with us. I am excited about that. Josh just hasn't tolerated a full classroom very well -- since Kindergarten!

We are trusting that God will lead us down His paths, and so far, he has done just that. We will be starting work on Josh's pinewood derby car, and we will find a way to work that in to our homeschool curriculum for math and science. We are SO thankful for all the prayers that have been offered on our behalf, and for our friends who have chipped right in to help get the other children where they need to be while I have been trapsing around the countryside, so it seems, taking Josh to all his appointments. ;)

I have been reading this great book about parenting bipolar children, and wow, do I have a LOT to learn! Aside from the herbs, we are also finding that there are other accommodations that these kids need. And, we are implementing them one by one. I've gotta figure out how to download songs onto an MP3 player I got for Josh over the weekend. Mostly, we'll have primary church songs, hymns, and classical music on there, but it also has an FM tuner on it, so he can listen to other music as well.

Well, it's time to get moving... Gotta be out the door in one hour, and I've gotta get some kids dressed before we go. I just wanted to update, and sorry it's so long.... I am sure I didn't even include everything. There's plenty going on with the other children, but that will have to wait for another day.

In meantime..... we'll be playing with Daisy. :)